The Renaissance Wench

I've moved.

2010-09-01T18:01:00.001-07:00

All these posts are here now because i am lazy and two blogs is one (at least) too many. See you later, alligators!

Some Low Carb Lists

2010-01-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

These links are as much for me to remember them as they are anything....if you can use them, please do.

LowCarb Breakfast Ideas

LowCarb Snack Ideas

All of these are induction friendly (20 or less carbs per day).

Some New Nightgowns

2010-01-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

I made a couple nightgowns the other day. Nightgowns are ridiculously hard to find for some stupid reason and we Rowe girls--minus Julia--are big nightgown fans. I used this pattern that we had on hand and just sorta faked it.....

We ended up with these two beauties.

The purple ended up looking more like a maxidress, and it happens to match her glitter flip-flops so....

This one I did like the pattern suggested and made a bias tape for the neckline...nightmare. And I dont like the look of it very much, so next time it will get elastic like the other one.

Fat Guacamole Devils

2010-01-23T18:47:00.000-08:00

Fat Guacamole Devils | Mark's Daily Apple
This is a freaking great idea....but I could eat avocados 3 meals per day....

Posted using ShareThis

Halloween Costumes 2009

2009-11-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

Much work was put into costumes this year, but spread out a bit so as to not be so overwhelming. Here is the link to the costume pics on the other blog.

The top of my costume was made entirely by me and a combination of about 3 different patterns with multiple modifications on my part. The bottom was a repurposed skirt that used to be white and I never even wore once. It was also too big and rolled over 3 times at the top. I threaded the beads through the bottom and dyed the whole thing "sunflower yellow". I was not in the mood to make a skirt....but unfortunately I have now got 6 yards of yellow chiffon....just in case anyone has a need. Also, a shout out to silk velvet, just as a whole. The navy blue on the sides of my top was made with the $24 per yard stuff and it was sublime. I only needed 3/4 of a yard so I went for it. Feels sooooo good. I got the apple necklace and earrings marked down at Party City--I hate that store--but it was broken off the earring back and I had to remake them from scratch. They only cost $3.99 though.

Cinderella was also made by me. The blue satin has silver glittery sparkles on it and she picked it out herself as THE Cinderella blue. The shoes are her own, the velvet choker is a scrap held together by scotch tape and the headband is a ribbon. I bought a blue headband, but she said Cinderella had a "HEADBAND!!", which to her is a ribbon. So, we have a ribbon.
Goth Tinkerbell is a purchased dress we got at Ross for $14, wings that I have in my wing stash (yes, I have a stockpile of after-halloween wings. Dont you?), her own Doc Marten's that she wears to school practically daily and an exorbitant amount of eye makeup. Also, purchased skull wristbands and mesh arm thingies. The stockings are also from my stash....

For the boys, we have the Ninja Mickey Mouse which is a internet bought ninja outfit. I dont really understand how Ninjas work, but apparently there are real people who think they are them....and they sell outfits. It only cost like $25 and is very high quality cotton...like a karate uniform. He wore his Renaissance Faire boots instead of the weird split toe boots they sell for ninjas. And the Mickey ears were bought, obviously. It made for a hilarious silhouette.

Chris's Vampire Prince Charming outfit is a newly made vest from an old pattern I had. The fabric was originally going to be this gown when we were planning a Bram Stoker's Dracula theme, but when we changed to Disney theme, it got set aside. Perfect for the vamp vest though! I love the fabric. The rest of his outfit is his repurposed Snape costume and some white face paint.

We had a great time, everybody was comfortable in their outfits and I really didnt spend too terribly much this year. That is always good. Happy Halloween....the best holiday EVA!!!

Crock-Pot Cheeseburger Soup

2009-10-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

I am on an endless quest to find more than 5 recipes that I can make in the crock-pot that everybody likes....okay, to find more than 1 recipe everybody likes. Really the only thing I have EVER made in the crock-pot that isn't met with disdain is the Pot Roast with Peppers. I have tried about a million other things--much to everyones distress--but to no avail. We eat most every possible kind of food and so do the kids, so you wouldn't think this would be so hard. We just universally don't like wet, tasteless meat and that is pretty much what I always end up with. We just have never gotten the "food is fuel" memo and still expect everything we make to taste like we worked all day at it. The best crockpot tip I was ever given was by a co-worker that told me I didn't have to add liquid at all. She was very right, and may I say that "her" crockpot bbq wings are always delicious. I have never had her luck with those, however....mine are always just slimy-ish.

So, as I was driving home from kid drop off this morning, I was already thinking about dinner. I had to stop at Walmart anyway and I REFUSE to buy meat there so I had to pick up just additions to what I had at home. I thought of some hamburger meat leftovers and thought I had been so creative by thinking of adding it to cheese soup for---wait for it----Cheeseburger Soup. But, alas, there are recipes for it all over the internet so I cant quit my job and write cookbooks for a living just yet. Bummer.

Anywhoo, I found one recipe without too much colorful stuff floating in it--that is always a deal breaker for the kiddos. I had to low-carbify it for our purposes and I have some mental block when it comes to "cheese food" and "velveeta", so I bought this stuff instead.

I like to feel, in my own twisted brain, like I am not l poisoning my children.....I probably still am, but at least this has the claim of being actual --though tasteless-- cheese.

So, this is really just a mismash of several recipes I found on the internet. I do not cook for low-fatness, just for taste and low-carbness so....here it is.....

Ingredients:
6 cups broth (I did 1/2 chicken and 1/2 beef)
1 pound browned ground beef
1 tsp garlic powder
1 packet onion soup mix
1 head of cauliflower chopped (just use 2 potatoes if you must)
To add at the end:
1 cup half and half
2-16oz blocks of processed american cheese, cubed

Put the first 5 ingredients in the crock-pot and cook on low for 6 hours. Turn crock-pot to lowest setting or just off about 30 minutes before serving and add the milk first, then the cheese. You dont want it boiling when you add the cheese or it will curdle, so add the milk first to cool it slightly. It will still be plenty warm to melt the cheese over the next half hour or so.
Garnish with tabasco sauce, crumbled bacon, sour cream....whatever.
___________________________________
PS.
We made this just as it says. We didnt garnish with anything and it was very good. Kinda like Cheeseburger Macaroni soup without the macaroni....same kind of taste. I should have taken a picture, but i didnt. We will definitely make this again because it is very simple and quite good. We didnt have any (carbs dontcha know), but this would be awesome with a big loaf of crusty bread for dipping.

Homemade Play Clay

2009-09-24T06:01:00.001-07:00

We used toake this for the other kids and I just thought of it today. Classic recipe, but I will post it anyway. Of coarse ours is kinda organic-y looking since all I had was whole wheat pastry flour and olive oil...there is room for improvisation, needless to say.

Stove Top Playdough
--from Vicki Lansky's book "Feed me, I'm yours"
1 cup flour
1/4 cup salt
2 tbsp cream of tartar
1 cup water
2 tsp food coloring
1 tbsp oil
(I made 1 1/2 times this recipe, held the food coloring out till the end, split the dough in half and did two colors)
Mix all the ingredients in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat 3-5 minutes. It will look a globby mess, but as soon as it forms a ball in the middle of the pan, it's done. Flip it out onto the countertop and knead it until it is softer and cooled off slightly. ( this would be the point where I divided and kneaded in the food coloring. the paste kind makes darker colors. I also kneaded in some almond extract to make it smell less flour-ish.)
See, easy peasy. If you have the ingredients, it takes like 5 minutes and is much more pliable than store playdough.

-- Post From My iPhone

A Big Girl Room Remodel

2009-08-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

The baby girl is getting bigger and bigger by the day, unfortunately. She is now completely potty trained--day and night. She has felt free to climb out of her crib and wander at her leisure for some time now. And, let's be honest, I never really "decorated" her room the first time. We bought one pack of vinyl pink sticker thingies to put on the wall and a fancy bedding set from Babies'R'Us and that was about it. We didnt even repaint the loft turned nursery for her arrival (LAZY).
So, it is the time!! On my first excursion to Atlanta to visit my sis, we hit the ever-fabulous Ikea. I had been looking for some color inspiration for this potential room and found a great comforter cover there. A few accessories to match and we were out of there for less than $50. Deal of the century. Add onto that another $35 in paint and about $20 in odds and ends and it brought me in just barely over $100 for the entire project....well, that and about 2 days of my time, but I will give her that for free.

This was the starting wall color with sticker things still in place. Obviously we had already started dismantling things. We are messy, but not quite this bad!

Now, I am going to start right here and now and say that I blatantly stole lots of ideas straight off the internet and particularly etsy. There are some of the cutest wall decals on etsy, for pretty reasonable prices, too. But, not within my budget and frankly it is easier for me to just wing it with a paintbrush than to actually take the time to order anything. I am a big proponent of "you can always paint over it".
So, here goes.
All things start with a proper tape job.

And a new wall color (BAM!!).

And so, we begin the design portion of our show.....
Gigantic branch coming out of the wooden wall.

Embellishment of said branch.

Add a little branch on the other side for symmetry....we MUST have symmetry...

Hmmm, perhaps i forgot to mention the red stripes on the back wall......oops.....we like some two-tone rooms around here...

Anyway, must tie the red stripes into everything else. The poppies were kindof an afterthought....also stolen from etsy....I was getting a little over-swirled with the branches. I had planned for some kinda graphic swirlyness under the window, but changed at the last minute.

Now this "over-doing it" portion of our show....the mural branch was lacking something. I decided it was a worm....and a crown on the bird.

A valance and some ribbon over the existing curtains.

And finally, some linens and a handmade bedskirt added to a bed made of two footboards so it is low and my baby wont fall far when she tumbles out in the middle of the night.

Oh, and a gigantic orange bolster and the cute night light lamp from ikea. And the handpainted sign from Aunt Katelyn.

Ta-daaaaaa....

Here she is trying it out for the first time....she seems a little freaked....

......sharing her spot with the big bro....

....oh, did I mention the awesome green sheets....oops.....

...fake sleeping....

.....fake sleeping only lasted for seconds, then the jumping began....

I know she is bad! There is no covering it up. But, she is like the cutest thing ever, so what am I going to do?!

The End!!

Ollivander's - Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. (a tutorial)

2009-08-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

Caris is on a big Harry Potter kick these past couple weeks. The Sorcerer's Stone is pretty much running on a loop in the living room and she is giving lectures to me about Dumbledore and the "cat that turns into a lady".

Also, at every opportunity she is casting spells on me that will either open me up (alohamora) or make me float (wingardium leviosa)--all performed with either a stolen wand from her brother or any random stick she comes across. As anyone who knows me is well aware, I am incredibly proud of my baby. She is awesome. Not every two year old in the world is capable of mastering "swish and flick" with such panache, put a proper wizard needs a proper wand...

So, now we come to the crafty portion of this post. Admittedly, I overdo things to the nth degree....that is a given at this point.....

These are the supplies. Total cost = $5. That is just one dowel chopped up. The little things on top were mini candle holders that I sawed the base off with a miter saw (can you say protective goggles).

Then--again, I overdo--I embellished them with a woodburning tool (and also burned 3 holes into my shirt which is unrelated to this project).

And finally, color and finish. Caris handpicked metallic purple for hers, Jack requested gold and I made the blue for Julia just to be funny. It is her favorite color and I made it tiny so she can carry it in her purse....she will be thrilled, I'm sure. The other is just an extra to use up the dowel.

The older kids already have proper wands from previous birthdays/Christmases, but who can't use an extra?! Am I right?! And they are personalized!
This is Caris's first of her very own, though, and she is loving it up!!

;o)

Jealousy

2009-08-04T19:18:00.001-07:00

This is my sister-in-law's.

It makes this.

I now have much jealousy.

-- Post From My iPhone

IKEA=awesome!!

2009-08-03T10:32:00.001-07:00

We went to Atlanta this weekend to visit with the sister and bro-in-law. They just moved there so they don't yet have a handle on all the city amenities, but I knew I wanted to hit IKEA.

The girls headed there on Sunday while the boys went gocarting and buying blanco zapatos ( long sorted story). It was terrific as ever and I managed to escape for less than $150--which I thought was pretty good.
Caris is in need of a new big-girl room so we shopped for that...very successfully. This pic isn't what we got but is one of many many beds Caris tried out.

We got recyling bins, a coffee carafe, a giant mug for Julia, and a clip on bedlamp for Jackson, and a couple of gifts I was needing in the near future. Good haul.
I should have gotten some whisks because I do love a whisk.

-- Post From My iPhone

Being lazy sometimes pays off

2009-07-30T09:49:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture of a pumpkin plant that is growing right next to my front porch steps. It is not a coincidence that it is growing in the exact spot that our Halloween pumpkin sat.
Gardening tip for you--let your pumpkin sit on the grass after the holidays and throughout the winter. By spring it will have planted, composted and fertilized a new plant naturally and you don't even have to dig a hole:-)
As a side note, I finally made the baby girl something out of the "kisses" material we bought months ago. It is kinda goofy, but I did kinda just freehand it, so it is what it is. She is still cute regardless, IMHO.

-- Post From My iPhone

How cute is this trim?!

2009-07-30T07:43:00.001-07:00

Julia found this at textile fabrics when we went. We had to buy a yard, but I have no idea what we are going to do with it.

It is hula girls in case you can't tell.
-- Post From My iPhone

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

French Horn Pants

2009-07-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

No, the pants arent for the french horn...they are for the french horn player.
Julia and I went for a quick trip to the awesome Textile Fabrics in Nashville and she found this cute stuff.

She also decided that she needed these loungy-pants for a slumber party that was happening in like 2 days...it was imperative. Like a good servant, I did as I was told.

Also, blue is the favorite color....that is where the ribbon comes in. We must cover all the bases.
This is the same pattern I used for the bacon pajama pants mentioned in this post, but this time properly sized. They turned out just fine and she wears them way too constantly.

How's that for a smart-assed look....?

Handcrafted Bumpit

2009-06-28T20:21:00.000-07:00

Yea, so here is the thing. Bumpits are stupid looking. I have no clue why anyone would spend $19.99 on a hard plastic thing that is going to stab you in your head just so that you can have hair that looks like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
That being said, people get really really goofy acting at about 4am with the soothing sounds of 20 screaming babies behind you and we have a whole lot of little baby hats sitting around where I work....so I handmade a bumpit out of a couple stray hats and hired me a real cute pregnant model to show of my handiwork. I will be charging $9.98....limited time only, so get yours now!!

Oh, yea....and if you click on the picture, Courtney's head gets GINORMOUS....it's awesome!!

Guide to Mommy Porn

2009-06-28T19:34:00.001-07:00

May i just say that my husband proudly sent me this--and even recognized the Outlander reference having never read the book..... Considering that this is 2009 and not 1709, that is damn near as good as him giving me some bad guy's head in a sack!!! Then they have....well you know how it ends....

Vicki Iovine: Girlfriends' Guide To... Mommy Porn: What We're Really Fantasizing About

Low Carb(ish) Coconut Cream Pie

2009-06-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

My fine friend Ellen from work gave me THIS COOKBOOK at work last night (gracias) so I had to make something from it right off the bat. I found several options that intrigued me, but since a Walmart is my closest grocery store and it is the lamest store ever and I hate it--if not just for my own loathing, but in honor of Ellen and her overwhelming hatred of it-- I chose this recipe that sounded delish and that I had all the ingredients on hand. Walmart SUCKS!!
Anywhoooo, I didnt make the crust that was suggested in the book, though I think it would be probably very tasty. The shortbread cookie crust they suggested required actual shortbread cookies and guess what store decided to quit carrying all their sugar free cookie products today just to annoy me. So, I made the "traditional pie crust" from the book. It was pretty tasty, though I will say a bit of a wheat-y flavor since it was made with whole wheat pastry flour. A perfect pie crust texture though and held together well so you could actually pick up your piece of pie. I will definitely use the recipe again.
The filling was really really good. It would be good as just a pudding with whipped cream on top....that may happen sooner than later and would make this much less time consuming without the crust making and baking.

I say this is low carb(ish) because it is definitely not an everyday dish. A piece of this pie made with the shortbread crust would have 16 carbs. A piece of store bought coconut cream pie has 40+ carbs, more than half of which is pure sugar.
So, here is the recipe and both crust options.

Coconut Cream Pie
for the coconut layer:
1 1-ounce package sugar free instant vanilla pudding mix
1 cup low carb milk (or 1/2 cup heavy cream mixed with 1/2 cup water)
1 1/2 tsp coconut extract
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut, toasted, divided
3/4 cup whipping cream

for the whipped cream layer:
1 cup whipping cream
3 packets splenda
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

also, make one of the crusts below, bake and cool.

1. For coconut layer: In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the pudding mix, milk, coconut extract, and all but 1 tablespoon of the toasted coconut (reserve the rest for garnish at the end). Set pudding mixture aside. In a medium mixing bowl, using an electric mixer on med-high speed, whip the cream until soft peaks form. Add reserved pudding mixture to the bowl with cream and whisk until well combined. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
2. For whipped cream layer: Whip cream, splenda and vanilla until stiff peaks form.
3. Assemble the pie by spreading the pudding mixture over the crust using a rubber spatula, then spooning the whipped cream mixture over the center of the pudding, spreading it to the edges. Sprinkle reserved coconut over the top.

Carbs are 11 per serving assuming you cut it into 8 pieces.

Traditional Pie Crust
1/2 cup wheat gluten flour
1/2 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/4 cup almond flour
1 tbsp granular splenda
1 egg yolk, beaten
3 tbsp cold butter
3-4 tbsp very cold water

Preheat oven to 375. In a mixing bowl stir together the gluten flour, pastry flour, almonds and splenda. Stir in egg yolk with a fork and then the butter mashing it into coarse crumbs. Add the water a tbsp at a time until you can get the mixture to form into a ball. Let it rest for a few minutes while you spray your pie pan with some cooking spray.
Roll it out and put it in the pan--I am paraphrasing, obviously.
Bake for 15-20 minutes...watch it so it doesnt burn at the end, but good and brown is better than under done.

Carbs are 9 per serving assuming you cut it into 8 pieces.

Coconut-Shortbread Cookie Crust
24 Murray sugar free ring shaped shortbread cookies, crushed
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
5 tbsp butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350. In a small bowl, combine all ingredients together. Spray pie plate (9 inch) with cooking spray, then pat crust mixture into bottom of pan.
Bake for 8 minutes, until nicely browned. Let cool before filling.

Carbs are 5 per serving assuming you cut it into 8 pieces.

This is the crust I made before I baked it.

Filling and topping--pardon these awful pics, my regular camera battery was dead so these are phone pics!

And, finally, the finished product. It was yummy!

Let it be know that all of these recipes come from Everyday Low-Carb Desserts: Over 120 Delicious Low-Carb Treats Perfect for Any Occasion (Paperback)
by M.S. Kitty Broihier M.S. R.D. (Author)
Shout out to her!!

Tudor Houses are Awesome

2009-06-16T05:45:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows my love of all things English-y. I have a particular adoration of wonky Tudor houses. They are also called half-timbered houses or timber frame, but to me they are just Tudor ala King Henry.
We in America have a version of these....they have it in England too....that is called Tudor revival. Drive through some fancy neighborhoods-and even some not so fancy ones-and you will see the decorative trim that is on gables that is a throwback to the real thing. These houses are not authentically timbered but have trim styled like they are--there is no relation from inside to outside of the house. I am not hating on these...they are cute and I like them fine, but that is not what I am talking about here.

In true, ancient half timbered houses, the entire house was made with a timber frame. There are no studs inside the walls like modern construction. The builder made a giant frame for the house out of big heavy timbers and pegged them together. In between the beams the space was filled with rocks, bricks, rubble, sticks or anything they could come up with to fill in the space and then they "stuccoed" over the filler. The walls were as thick as the beams they made them out of and the beams were exposed on the inside and outside of the house. This is what an authentic wall was filled with....minus the glass frame, obviously....

There is modern timber framing....I live in a modern timber framed house. Kinda the same as the authentic, but not really. The whole "filling the walls with junk and stuccoing over it" thing is not very modernly energy efficient. This is what a modern timber frame looks like while being built....this is mine....

All smallest upright in that frame is 6X6 inches....some are bigger than that. But now, instead of filling in between them, we attached SIPs to the outside of the frame. This means you can see the beams on the inside of our house, but not the outside....so we faked it on the outside.
Inside....
Outside..

Enough of all that construction talk....THIS is why I love them. We took these on our awesome trip to London that we just got back from....click on any of these to go to the photo-set and see all of the ones we took.

And finally, here is a funny story. We were walking through Hampstead Heath and happened upon the most picturesque, perfect little cottage in the woods. It looked like something out of Hansel and Gretel and before we even got up to it we had discussed how lucky the resident was and wondered how they lucked up and got the gig that got them living in the cutest house ever in the middle of this awesome park, etc, etc.... This is the house....

Okay, now wait for it.....

It was the park bathroom....i would still live there forever....

Harry Potter Featurette!!

2009-05-22T15:03:00.000-07:00

I cannot WAIT!!

Renaissance costumes finally complete and in use!!

2009-05-11T05:15:00.000-07:00

I posted some of these on my other blog, but I felt the need to post some costume related ones here. The full photostream is on Flickr and you can get to that by clicking here or on any of the photos below.

Here is a full length shot of me and C & J. Ignore the stupid look on my face and Jack's completely skinny belt...I didnt catch the belt before we were half way across Nashville and the smart-assed look is a permanent feature.

Here is full length Chris fighting some beer glasses.

Here is a close up of Julia's lacings.

And here is a full length of her and Jack. And, a good shot of Caris's hair fall...the feathers on top were just added to annoy her when she wasnt looking;-P. Also, the blue fairy Hope is wearing is a previous year's costume of Julia's. It is much loved by any girls that join us each year and has been worn by several of them who needed a costume in a pinch.

So that is a good smattering of costume photos. Click on one of the pictures to see the full set--or on the link at the top.
It was fun!! Come with us next time!!

Stop the Insanity--Placemat Pillows, Part 2

2009-05-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

Uggg. Let me explain. This could have been easy. But I had a "great idea". That is frequently where it all goes downhill fast for me. I will just give you the nightmare in pictures and see if you can figure where good sense went south and the lunacy began.

The plan is make these placemats into four pillows.

The light colored print ones arent double layered so I thought I would split open the green one and use it to back the two print ones. Totally simple, right? Yea, not so much. The green placemat had interfacing sticking the two sides together and was not so easy to pull apart as you would think, but I was determined and in the end I did prevail. Pillow casings done.

{watch my brain work here}
"Hmmmm, what to fill them with. I have a gigantic bag of batting in my craft supplies. I could just fill them with that. Or I could dismantle other pillows like i did previously. That would be all "green" and recycley. Or, if I am recycling anyway, I could use feathers!! I have a feather pillow I never use. Yea, that's the ticket. I will make some awesome feather pillows. They will be all soft and squishy and great. I'm doing it!!"

So, I find some on hand thick fabric that I can makes pillow forms out of. Eyeball the size I want, cut and stitch--leaving an opening for putting the feathers in that I can sew up later.

Looking at this pillow, I figured I could get all four out of this one pillow.

Cut that bad boy open!

Now for the totally fun part. I have to get all these loose feathers into those little pillow forms. Simple grab and stuff. Hmmm, maybe I will go outside for this part. It was totally easy and not messy at all.

In fact, I am so clean after this that I feel sure I can go out to dinner without changing my clothes or anything.

Okay, cute little pillow forms. It only took like what, an hour to do that. Something that should have taken 5 minutes tops.

Now, I think I will spend 2 hours rethreading needle after needle that keep breaking and popping the entire bobbin casing out a few times just for fun. Miss White (the sewing machine) and I are not getting along today. I think she has something against feather pillows. Because I am mad at her I will show you compromising pictures of her inner workings. She should be embarrassed by her behavior.

Anyway, eventually this all got done and the pillows are cute. (I totally should have smoothed the nap on my microfiber couch.)

I only need like 10 more of them, but that will totally have to wait until I forget what a pain in my butt this was.

Placemat Pillow Project

2009-05-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

I found this fabulous and crazy simple idea to make throw pillows out of double layered placemats at this fabulous site. How I didnt think of this before now, I have no idea....but I give full credit for this to the artsy-crafty babe.

Anyway, I found this placemat--two acutally--at World Market. (The best store ever.)

Match my couch and have a different print on back which I thought would be cute.

So here is how you do this...so totally easy.
First, take a seam ripper and tear out the stitches on one end. You dont have to go all the way across if you are using batting as a fill, but you probably do if you use a pillow form.

Next, you cram it full of batting.

You can kinda see the pillow in the background that came with our couches and that I detest. We have 4 of them and I have them stuck in a trunk because I hate them--they are all 80's geometric print. Barf. I decided this would be a great use of the batting in them so i ripped them open with the same seam ripper and am stealing the stuffing out of them.
Anyway, the final step is to sew up the seam you ripped out. I suppose you could do this by hand, but I used the machine. You could also embellish these at this point if you wanted. I didnt.
This is the final result which honest to goodness took me 5 minutes to make both of....

That is the hated pillow shell hanging over the top which I will probably just pitch unless i can think of some better use.
These arent huge, but perfect for a little back support while sitting on the couch. That is all we use them for anyway. If I want a sleeping pillow, I will go to bed.
Here are others that I got to do the same thing with.

We have two matching beige couches in the other room that are very plain--since I refuse to put the hideous 80s pillows on them. I am going to make these to go on those couches and then I have my eye on a really cute elephant pillow at World Market, but so far I am too cheap to buy it. Maybe next trip.
My sister has this same project in the works...you can see hers here.

Menu Plan Monday-5/04/09

2009-05-04T05:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, last week's menu was a wash. I planned 6 days and we ate 2 of them. I was running around like a chicken all week and cooking was low on the totem pole. The only things I made from last week were the Shrimp and Grits and the Pot Roast. The rest would have gotten bumped to this week, but now I am not in the mood for any of it.

So, here is the new week's menu!

Monday--Burger Florentine

Tuesday--Grilled Fish Tacos with Low Carb Tortillas and homemade Guacamole

Wednesday--BBQ Chicken with homemade Alabama White BBQ sauce

Thursday--Chili

Friday--Out for our 16th Anniversary

Saturday--Turkey Legs and Yard long beers at the Renaissance Festival--it got cancelled last weekend due to rain, but we would have eaten this twice anyway!

Burger Florentine

by Dottie at the Low Carb Friends board

2 lbs ground beef

1/2 cup diced onion

1 bag frozen spinach*

8 oz cream cheese

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

Salt and Pepper

Brown ground beef and onions. Add spinach and cook until meat is done.

Meanwhile, cut cream cheese into several small cubes (ie break it into little pieces with your fingers). Add to cooked meat mixture along with cream, parmesan and salt and pepper. Cover pan with lid and cook a few minutes until cream cheese is softened then mix everything together well.

You could now bake this in a casserole for 20 minutes on 350 like the recipe says, but i never do. This is like hamburger helper for me and gets served right out of the skillet. Make sure you use enough salt and pepper...this stuff is awesome.

*(sub chopped broccoli if you dont like spinach, but spinach is waaay better)

Alabama White BBQ Sauce

from Low Carb BBQ Book by Dana Carpenter

1/2 cup mayo

3 tbsp white wine vinegar

1 tsp spicy mustard

1/2 tsp creole seasoning

1 clove crushed garlic

1 tsp prepared horseradish

Just whisk this alltogether and baste chicken with it. Turns an amber color when you smoke it on the grill.

Low Carb Chocolate Pie

2009-05-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Today I tried a "Chocolate Pie" recipe I found with very high hopes. My results were not very good. It went together easily and things did look okay after the whipped cream was put on top.

That is when the issues began....well culminated. Problem one was that it never "thickened" even after being in the freezer for 2 hours. It was "no bake" so it was never hot. Two hours should have been plenty of time. It was the texture of, hmmmm.....I believe paste is the word i am looking for. Nice, thick paste. Then upon first bite it had chunks of chocolate in it. This seems like it would be a good thing, but it wasnt. Unsweetened chocolate flakes are utterly tasteless. It should have been fully incorporated into the base of the "pie" but as soon as the melted chocolate hit the creamy filling part it got cold and hard. I blame the entire fiasco on that darn chocolate. I think if it had been fully blended in there then it would have been fine.

This chocolate "pie" was not pie at all. My definition of pie is that I can get it out of the pan with a pie cutter and it look triangly on my plate. I need that more than I need fabulous taste from my pie. This was a big mess for me. More of a freezing cold and kinda gritty pudding. I am sad.
This all being said, the pictures of the original recipe of this look delicious and not at all gritty and weird. I think I need that girl to come over here and make me one because I have made a mockery of her recipe.

It's been a CRAZY week!

2009-05-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am feeling like I'm being a bit blogger slacky this week so I thought I would give a little overview of the week. I havent been as lazy as it seems. It is the week before Renaissance Festival here in TN and I have been doing alot of finish up costume sewing and odds and ends. I took some pics....

These are the hair falls for me and the baby girl.

Maisie got a new quilt and pillow for her bed.

I went to a thrift store and got these for $3...tell me how you could possibly pass that up?! I have no idea what I am going to do with them, but I like them.

We have new beer brewing or fermenting or something....

Baby girl needed some eggs for her kitchen. I got these wooden ones at Hobby Lobby for $.99 each and we painted them to match our chicken's eggs.

All these costumes are done and ready to roll. This week I had to finish Chris's jacket and make both the boy's shirts....and add about 800 million grommets.

And I have a new book that I want to get through that has been very neglected for this week and now is getting a lot of attention. Hellllooooo, Rehvenge!! I cant explain this except to say it is smut and it is good.

Now, if this unending rain would just STOP already, I would be headed out into the woods for some good Ren Fest revelry.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T12:26:00.001-07:00

-- Post From My iPhone

Menu Plan Monday--4/27/09

2009-04-27T05:18:00.000-07:00

I luckily had a little time at work this weekend to get this planned out on paper. We never managed to get the Shrimp and Grits done from last week, so that got bumped to tonight.
Luckily that makes me not have to grocery shop until tomorrow --which is good since my work schedule is crazy this week and I got absolutely zero sleep yesterday. Easy food for Tuesday since I will have worked the night before. Anyway, here it is. All low carb and a recipe or two to boot.

Monday--Shrimp and Grits (mashed cauliflower subbing for the grits) with Spinach Salad
Tuesday--Crockpot Pot Roast with Turnips and Green Bean Salad (the turnips peeled and cut up in crockpot in lieu of potatoes)
Wednesday--Tangerine Up the Butt Chicken (recipe below) and Grilled Broccoli Salad (recipe below)
Thursday--Grill Basket Lamb Kebabs with Grilled Summer Squash and Mushrooms (cut up a boneless lamb roast into cubes and marinade all day in ziplock bag. Cook on grill in grill basket to skip all the skewering)
Friday--Portabello Mushroom Pizzas (top lg portabellos with pizza topping and bake...delish!)
Saturday--Turkey Legs and Yard-long beers at Tennessee Renaissance Festival --it is the first weekend and kids and grandparents get in free!!

Orange-Tangerine Up the Butt Chicken
--from The Low Carb BBQ Book by Dana Carpenter
1 whole roasting chicken (3-4 lbs)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp splenda
1 drop blackstrap molasses
1 tsp chili powder
3 tbsp low sugar orange marmalade
1 can Diet Rite tangerine soda (wash that can!!)
2-3 tbsp oil
1 tsp spicy brown mustard

Light one side of gas grill. Rinse chicken and pat dry. Combine salt, splenda, molasses and chili powder in small bowl. Reserve half the mixture and rub the other half inside the cavity of the chicken.
Stir the marmalade into the reserved seasoning mixture. Open can of soda and pour out 2/3 cup. Add 1/4 of the cup that you poured off into the seasoning mixture and then drink the rest that you poured off.
Punch several more holes in the top of the soda can with a can opener. Spray the can with cooking spray and set it in a shallow baking pan. Carefully place your chicken down over the can, fitting the can into the cavity of the chicken. Rub down the chicken with olive oil.
Set your chicken, standing upright on the soda can on the side of the grill not over the fire. Close the grill and cook at 250degrees for 75-90 minutes or until juices run clear.
While chicken is roasting, add mustard to marmalade seasoning mixture. Use this to baste chicken with for the last 20 minutes or so.

Grilled Broccoli Salad
--Low Carb BBQ Book by Dana Carpenter
1 head fresh broccoli
2 tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp toasted sesame oil
4 tbsp sesame seeds

Trim bottom of broccoli head and separate into large spears. Brush with a bit of olive oil and grill over medium fire until flecked with brown spots. Remove from fire.
Pt broccoli in a bowl and add rest of oil, vinegar, soy sauce and sesame oil. Stir it all up and let set for a half hour.
Meanwhile, toast your sesame seeds in a dry skillet over medium flame until they start to make a popping sound. Add to salad and toss to combine. Serve at room temp.

I had posted the Cauliflower recipe I will use tonight previously here.
Enjoy!!

Unveiling the New Play Kichen

2009-04-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

My baby girl, until today, had my 20 something year old sister's hand me down play kitchen. Her big sister and brother had it before her...well, her big brother liked tractors better, but you get the point. Vintage Fisher Price with the original toaster and everything. See....

There is nothing actually wrong with this kitchen....except that I LOATHE it. I never liked it when we had it out 10 years ago and I dont like it now. It is an "in the round" type kitchen for lack of a better description. All that means is that it has to sit smack in the middle of the floor if you want to play sink AND stove. All the doors perpetually hang open and nothing fits inside it. I have a big ugly rubbermaid box next to it to hold all the accessories and that is just tacky. It is sitting in our living room for heaven's sake....along with 10 million other things so another rubbermaid box is the last thing we need.
So, last week I was inspired by some kitchens I saw here. I would be more specific, but there were many, many inspirations--mostly ones based off Ikea shelving and found objects. Do a search and you will see many. May I also say that I have an unnatural love for that website. Beautiful ideas abound so check it out.
Anyway, I decided we could do this on the cheap and have something I dont mind walking past when I head to the living room. We were standing in the basement and I drew a little plan on some scrap paper and put measurements of the approximate size I wanted. We stood there and figured out how much wood we would need and headed to Lowes.
In the end we spent $22 on two MDF stair tread things for the sides, a piece of pegboard for the back--both revisions (improvements) of my plan by the dude who has to build the thing--and a clearance handle that turned into a towel rack. I went to Michael's and Walmart the next day and got all the little odds and ends that I wanted for the top (I had a vision, dontcha know) and the baskets for storage. That I think was about $30 with the baskets. The butcher block counter top was a scrap from my parent's new kitchen.
It was definitely a joint project. Chris was responsible for the structure of the thing, shelf building, etc. I did the sanding and painting, designed all the little knobs and burners and actually ended up making the faucet and knobs since I couldnt find a real faucet anywhere for less than $30. Oh, and I made the curtain too. I was going all black except the countertop, but Chris suggested the red back--good choice. I love it. The fabric that I had mentioned earlier turned out as adorable as I had hoped. Here is hoping it stays in place.
This is the NEW kitchen...

The top of it with all the knobs and gadgets looks like this...

All the accessories are now organized into cutie little baskets instead of big ugly plastic...

And then everything fits INSIDE the kitchen and behind the cute little curtain...

I am very, very happy with it. I have some more pegboard hooks I am painting for the back and I am making her an apron and a couple pot holders to match the curtain but other than that, this project is FINIS!! Total price a hair under $60. If you click on the pics it will take you to Flickr and you can see lots more of the pictures.
Now, oh sister of mine, what do you want me to do with YOUR kitchen?!

Cool Stuff!!

2009-04-21T12:08:00.001-07:00

Play Kitchen Accessories, originally uploaded by Rowetopia.

Cariboo and I went looking for a couple things this morning and came back with this stuff. Very colorful and very cute. If we ever finish this kitchen project, she will be very stylish. I am trying to find non-plastic food items for her kitchen, which is slightly difficult. Those plates are bamboo, the bowl and spoon are wood, the potholder is loom made by the big sister (and not for this...mommy has been using it for years) but this tea set, however....not so much organic. More like totally cheapo plastic and probably toxic just to look at it. She was in love though...

I am glad for the nice organic-ish-ness of it (yes, I made that word up) because two seconds after we got in the car she tried to chew the end off.
Dont ask me. She is waaaay too old to be teething....just being annoying I think.

And the whole time I was piling this stuff here to take the picture, she was trying to steal the teapot to pour "tea" into the other glass.

She is the bad seed, but she sure is cute.

Also, I had to have this. How could I resist for $4.

It leans...Waahaahaaa.

Menu Plan Monday-4/40/09

2009-04-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to attempt to do this. It makes my grocery shopping much easier and I buy way less expensive extras. Maybe next week I will get it done in a more timely fashion. This is an ongoing event over at the Organizing Junkie blog.

Monday-BBQ Chicken and Stir Fried Cabbage
Tuesday--Peperoncini Pot roast (yes, I checked that spelling!)*
Wednesday--Tuna Casserole made w/Dreamfields pasta and roasted Broccoli
Thursday--BBQ Ribs and Grilled Asparagus
Friday--Scampi Shrimp and Mashed Cauliflower (posing as grits) and a spinach salad

*Italian Beef (thank you Christy L.)
1 pot roast
1 packet onion soup mix
1 jar peperoncinis with juice
Pile it all in the crockpot and cook for 8 hours.
Delicious.

Thirsty Chickens

2009-04-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

When I woke today, they had drank all their water. This is after the fill up.

-- Post From My iPhone

New Project Supplies!!

2009-04-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is the new fabric for an upcoming project that I think is super cute.

The stripe is Michael Miller and the horses are some imported something something by Kokka--a Japanese fabric. I have never heard of them, but the fabric lady was all enamored with them and Cariboo (Baby Girl) picked it out. They arent really meant to go together, but i think they do so they will!! If Chris does his part and gets my project started this weekend, I will post more pics later. It is going to be soooo cute.

Rant of the Day

2009-04-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

Rant of the day.
I do not like to see a person wearing scrubs that is not a doctor or nurse. It makes me very irritated. Especially when their scrubs are grimy and need to be washed. As a nurse, I think this is a personal affront to me--yes, me personally. They did it on pupose just to bug me, I just know it!! Dental hygienists and veterinary assistants get a pass, but nobody else...and their scrubs should have teeth or dogs on them.
Rant complete.

Hot oil massage for your face!!

2009-04-15T15:11:00.000-07:00

4/22/2009 I am adding this to the Works For Me Wednesday list--even though I posted it LAST Wednesday. That counts right. Well, here it is anyway. I will do better next week. It seems Earth Day appropriate. Happy Earth Day!

I happened upon this ages ago at a blog I used to look at all the time but that doesnt exist anymore. Strangely, I found this archive of the original, so I thought I would share it here.

When I first read this I got sucked in because I have oily skin and it seemed nuts--I love to try out things that sound nuts. I have been washing my face exclusively with straight extra virgin olive oil for well over a month now and it is working fabulously. I havent put any soap on my face this entire time. I think I am turning Italian and I look just like Sophia Loren now. Okay, that's a lie, but I have no zits and I havent put any soapy chemicals on my face at all. I have to get some points for that.
This is how I am doing it:
1. Turn on the hot water...wasteful I know but you want it really hot.
2. Put about 1 tsp or a bit more in my hand and then massage all over your face. Pay particular attention to oily spots just like you would with any face wash. Dont be scrimpy...if you have a big fat face, embrace it and use more oil. To much is better than too little. Rub it in for about a full minute-ish.
3. Take a nice nubby washcloth and run it under the HOT water. Wring it out and lay the washcloth over your face. (Some people advocate the zen approach here and want you to steam yourself like you are getting a facial. I have ZERO patience so I stand there with it on my face as long as I can stand it. The idea is to open your pores with the steam. I usually last about 20 seconds tops.)
4. Take that same washcloth and scrub the living crap out of your face.
5. Dry off and you are done.

So, after I had been doing this with good results for several weeks, I suckered my poor daughter into trying it. She is 12 and has the most sensitive skin of anyone in our entire family. You never know what is going to break her out...no rhyme or reason to it. I have a friend who took her to one of those Diva Kid Party places...she called me in a panic on the way home because my poor kid's whole face was red and puffy and swollen. Gotta love some Benadryl. Anyway, I was just thinking that if this would work for her it would be much less irritating to her skin.
The first time I hauled her in the bathroom to try it I thought she was going to have a panic attack. She was horrified. She has since done it everyday on her own. Her face isnt completely blemish free, but it is better and she is much more thorough with it because no soap in the eyes and splashing water, etc. And after all, she is 12...blemish free is alot to ask at that age.
I have also read in that post above and elsewhere that adding some castor oil to the olive oil has drying effects, so would be good for oily skin. I am going to get some of that to add to my daughter's and see if that does better for her. I will let you know. One way or the other, though, we are converts.

These are the Spring Chickens!!

2009-04-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

We had a very early 5:30am wakeup call from the local post office this morning begging us to hurry up and come and get our chickens. Apparently 15 chickens chirping in your ear while you are trying to sort mail is not a good thing. So, once we prepped for the TCAP by mom actually making the kiddos something to eat this morning, we headed off to collect some chicks.
When you order chicks in the mail, it is assumed that you will check that they all arrived alive in the presence of the post office people. I have never had this be an issue, but we did take a peek once we got back in the car. Arent they cute?

Then after some kid drop-off, I headed to the Co-op for some Starter Feed...no prep work for me, obviously. They were out of the 25 pound bags and offered me a 50 pound bag. That is waaaaaay to much, but the guy was nice enough to go get me a lunch sack full of feed from the back room for free to tide me over until tomorrow when they get more in. Very nice of him--so that is why i mention it. Shout out to that guy.
Anywhoo, this is the box and supplies needed for this little chick extravaganza.

These guys are very low maintenance. They require a little food, a little water and a warm light. That is about it other than a giant rubbermaid box.

Once we got home and got counting, we realized that the 15 we ordered had become 18.

Apparently it is cold in Missouri and they added a few freebies to help keep them warm--lovely. My buddy Heather is going to take 7 of them, but that leaves me several more than I planned. We have plenty of room in the big coop, but I hope everyone I know likes eggs. Come late summer we will be swimming in a sea of eggs. Start saving your egg cartons now, please...

The best peanut butter ever

2009-04-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

This stuff...

...it is a kind of extra special awesome that I cant even explain to you. If you see it, buy it. You wont be sorry. You dont need bread. This is for low carb spoon eating right out of the pantry. Only 3 carbs in 2 tbsp. Yummy!

Sewing...all day long

2009-04-13T16:35:00.000-07:00

I managed to get a lot accomplished today for some reason. I dont understand how some days I get absolutely nothing done the entire day and then other days I just knock things out left and right. We even managed to fit in a nice outdoor Mexican food lunch in the middle of the day. The kids were off all day and actually entertained themselves. The Wii is broken and sent off to Nintendo, so they are actually "playing" if you can believe it.
Anyway, first thing today was finish Chris's pants for Ren-fest. This involved a bias tape maker for the ties and lots of threading through casings...

Next, I made some quicky black pants for Baby Boy's costume and finished the Liver lip's reversible corsety thing for her costume. I think i covered both in this picture. The pants still need hemmed and so does the pink shirt, but that didnt happen today.

Here you can see what it reverses to since it isnt visible in the hanging photo. I am trying to make some multipurpose pieces. Since you cant see the back, the two sides dont have to match at all. She shirt matches both sides and i am going to make her a brown skirt to go with the other brocadey print.

Then, since I am trying to use up some of this random fabric that is cluttering up my laundry room, I made these pajama pants for the bacon fiend in the house. They are too big, but I am too lazy to fool with making them smaller. They have a drawstring...she hasnt complained so I am pretending I dont notice. And for God's sake, dont look at her bedroom...

It is cute Michael Miller flannel fabric with bacon and eggs.

Finally, the Baby Girl got this super nice crown-ladyish (per her) hair do.

So, to go with the do, she got these pants. They arent supposed to go with this shirt. The shirt they go with is cut out but not made. That is as far as I got with it today...maybe tomorrow. She tried them on and then was wanting to pose for lots of pictures. Far be it from me to deny her...

See that laundry basket up there in that last picture...that was the rest of my day. I hate laundry.

Ode To A Plastic Container

2009-04-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

My laundry room isnt just for laundry. It is the only storage in the entire downstairs for one thing. Where our fabulous hall closet should be is actually the basement stairs. We should have remedied that in our house plan, but who would have thought we would have so much junk?!
So this "laundry room" is actually that as well as a craft/sewing room and a storage closet and a "we are too lazy to carry this to the basement and I need it out of the living room" room. One day I will have a basement sewing room....not today.
So, this is how this room started. I share this with you why? Dont ask me...stupidity obviously. The rest of my house doesnt look like this. Not today anyway.
If you click on any of these pictures, they have "notes".

Yes, I know. It is gross.
The biggest issue here was the sheer amount of sewing stuff that I had crammed in (and overflowing from) way too small plastic containers that I had leftover when my kitchen went anti-plastic. That is another story.
So, this is the contents of the shelves, spread out on my kitchen table.

Organizing this was a chore. I have the weirdest stuff. At the bottom there is a pile of fake tattoos. We like Halloween, what can i say?
This is my patterns. No, I didnt count because I dont even want to know....

This is the patterns now. They took over the entire cabinet, but at least they are categorized now so I can find something without going through ALL of them.

This is the shelves. All labeled because NOTHING makes me as happy as a label maker.

And look, it's the floor. Ahhh, much better.

Appropriate plastic containers are GOOD!!

Low Carb on the go

2009-04-08T14:50:00.001-07:00

We were out on the town running errands today and had a terrific lunch at Fattoush Cafe that I would highly recommend.
This is the Beef Gyro Meat Salad...

It was absolutely delicious. If you go, I also say get the Shangri-la Un-sweet tea and add Splenda. Very low carb and very awesome!!

As a little p.s. , get ya one of these... Venti sugar-free vanilla breve latte. Iced or not-both good!

Some Recipes

2009-04-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

I thought, after the last post, I would plod through my old 3 ring binder of low carb recipes and lay down some tried and true ones we have had a million times since doing low carb.
A couple of these are goofy simple but, as I hold to the fact making up recipes is not skill I possess, I had to see these I print to realize how simple these could be. I have made all of these and they are all yummy. I will put the recipe as written and give you any tweaks I do in pink.

Mashed Cauliflower "Potatoes"
Literally the only "potatoes" I ever make.
1 head of cauliflower or 1-2 frozen bags (fresh is better, but I do frozen all the time)
1/2 stick of butter (I totally use 1 whole stick, but that's me)
2 tbsp heavy cream (more-use to get proper consistency)
Salt and Pepper (a LOT!! of salt)

The key to making these a mashed potato consistency is cooking the crap out of the cauliflower. Put it in a sauce pan and cover with water. Boil until very soft--about 30 minutes. You should easily be able to squish a floret between your fingers.
Drain well--press the water out (like you would do tuna from a can). Put in a bowl with the butter and a teaspoon of salt. Beat with an electric hand mixer. I have the most luck with that...my kitchen aid stand mixer doesnt do as well. You need two-beater action. Beat until the butter is melted in and then add cream as you beat to get the right consistency. Also, probably add more salt and pepper. They taste remarkably like potatoes when properly salted--I always think they taste watery until I get the salt and pepper right.
14 net carbs for the entire recipe

Those are good alone, but also topped with
Hamburger Gravy
1 lb ground beef
1 small onion
cream
salt and pepper

Cook onion and ground beef until browned. Drain. Add cream to make a gravy-just enough to barely cover the meat. No need for flour, it will thicken up on its own after a few minutes.
Also good poured over green beans!

Chicken "Nachos"
Cooked chicken strips--leftovers, store-bought, deboned rotisserie chicken...all work
Shredded Cheese
Salsa-check carb counts!
Sour cream
black olives
guacamole

Put very hot chicken on a plate and top with cheese and nacho toppings. Eat. The end. The rotisserie chicken makes this VERY easy.
Carbs depend on your topping choices, but very few.

Burger Breakfast Scramble
1/2 lb ground beef or ground breakfast sausage
2 tbsp minced onion
3 ounces cream cheese
3 large eggs
salt and pepper

Brown ground meat in skillet with onions. Add cream cheese cut in little pieces to pan and cook over low heat until melted. Beat eggs with salt and pepper and pour into skillet with meat. Scramble until desired doneness.
6 carbs in whole recipe if using ground beef.

Easy Almond Pound Cake
1 cup butter
1 cup splenda (1 cup granular or 20 packets)
5 eggs
2 cups almond flour *
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon almond extract

Cream butter and splenda in large mixing bowl. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each one. Add almond flour and baking powder a little at a time until well blended. Add extracts. Bake in 9 inch cake pan or loaf pan for 50 minutes at 350.
Can vary the flavor (banana or lemon) with different extracts.
47 carbs for whole cake
*"Almond flour" is just finely ground almonds and is nice to have for baked goods. Cheaper online, but locally Kroger, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's have it. Bob's Red Mill makes it. Also, make it yourself with blanched almonds and a food processor...you want it very finely ground.

3-2-1 Salmon
3 tbsp sugar free maple syrup
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp grated ginger
Place salmon fillets on greased foil. Whisk together and pour over salmon. Marinate up to 1 hr and then place on grill for 8-10 minutes--on the foil is fine.
My sister gets credit for this one.

Chicken Divine
2 cups cooked chicken, chopped
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp chicken bouillon
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp curry powder
1 cup chopped broccoli
1 cup canned asparagus
3/4 cup cheddar cheese.

Spray 9X12 casserole dish with pam. Squeeze asparagus dry and layer on bottom of dish. Top with layer of broccoli and then a layer of chicken. Mix bouillon, mayo, lemon, and curry powder in a bowl and then spread evenly over chicken. Top with grated cheese. Bake 350 for 30 minutes.
30 carbs for whole pan...this is my favorite.

Low Carb Lasagna
I started to type this out, but it is easier to say this...
Make it like you always make it, just leave out the noodles. A little extra Mozzarella between layers will hold it together nicely. Like all lasagna, it is better the next day! You can use those Dreamfields Lasagna noodles if you choose, but it is just as good without them. I never use them for this.

The same idea as the lasagna goes for lots of things.
Seven layer dip--leave out the beans and do a thicker layer of chicken or beef on the bottom. Eat it with a fork.
Enchiladas--use low carb tortillas or none at all
Broccoli Salad/Cole slaw--use splenda instead of sugar and no raisins or other dried fruit.
Pizza--there are a million ways to fake this-recipes abound online. Easiest is to top a low carb pita, a low carb tortilla, or portabello mushroom on the grill. All tasty. Here is one for kicks...

Thin and Crispy Pizza Crust
Oven to 450. Combine 3 eggs, 3 cups mozzarella cheese, 1 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp italian seasoning. Press evenly onto pam sprayed pizza pan. Bake at 45 until golden brown. About 10-15 minutes.
This is yummy, but i just ate it plain.

And last but not least, a soup. This is delicious. I served it at our Halloween party 2 yrs ago and it was eaten by everyone including the kids. It tastes nothing like you would expect.

Pumpkin and Sausage Soup

1-15oz can pumpkin-not pumpkin pie filling!

4 cups chicken broth

1/2 onion, minced

1 cup finely chopped fresh mushrooms

1/2 cup half and half

1 teaspoon minced garlic

1 tablespoon Italian Seasoning

1/2 pound breakfast sausage--that kind that comes wrapped in muslin in the breakfast sausage section is delicious. Hot or mild types are fine.

Brown sausage. Drain. Add the onion, garlic, mushrooms and herbs. Cook until veggies are limp. Stir in the pumpkin. Stir in the broth and mix well. Simmer 20-30 minutes. Stir in the half and half and simmer another 10 minutes. Taste and add salt and pepper as needed.

Low Carb Land

2009-04-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

How to manage this post? Do I just post recipes? Give advice? Lots of links? Hmmmmm....
Just so you know, this is going to be very long...
Here is my disclaimer. I am not a Dr or a nutritionist. I am a nurse and a maternity nurse at that so I have no credentials nutrition-wise whatsoever. Know this now.
That being said, I have been doing low carb for a good long while. Also, i am obsessive--I have covered this, I think. Think I am lying? Check this out, baby.

I have done so much research, message board lurking/posting, cookbook buying and cooking that it is more nuts than I am willing to fully let you in on. I have made things out of pork rinds that I am not even going to mention lest you know I am certifiably crazy (pork rinds are carb free). So, my plan is this. I am going to tell you what I do---you can do whatever floats YOUR boat. I will show you the things I think are essential to doing this for the long haul, at least at my house. I think it is a very healthy way to eat and I think it is not a diet but a way to eat healthy for life. I rarely ever make up my own recipes and if I do they are very trial and error and exceedingly simple. I am a cookbook reader, not a cookbook writer. Every recipe I post on here is taken from somewhere else, unless I specifically say otherwise. I will try to give sources if I have them, but if I dont, just know I love you whoever you are. Okay, blah, blah, blah....here we go.

About my low carbing
I am an Atkins advocate. His book is an easy read and makes this plan extremely clear. I really encourage you to read it--it is very cheap and readily available pretty much everywhere. The basics are here. Even if you just skim it, it is a valuable if not essential reference. Anyone who knows me knows I always have a book reference.

The reason I have always done Atkins is that it is the simplest. 20 carbs per day. The end. No calculation of protein grams, points (dont get me started on points) ,measuring portions or any of that whoo-ha. That is just too fiddly for me. Just a target of 20 carbs. Some people (not me) can go as high as 40-50 per day and still drop weight. Good luck with that. Other low carb plans are Protien Power, Sugar Busters, Carbohydrate Addicts Diet and South Beach. I have all of them and still like Atkins the best.
My basic everyday guidelines are this. No bread, no rice, no regular noodles. Try to eat at as many veggies as I can fit in for the day, but when in doubt, just eat protien. I eat a ton of eggs in many different configurations--and yes, my cholesterol is great(181). Potatoes and corn are NOT veggies (either is macaroni and cheese)--they are starches. No eating those. Carrots are best left out until you are all skinny because they are full of natural sugar and very carby. I dont like them anyway so it isnt a problem. Oh, no fruit except berries until you are all skinny either. No lowfat stuff unless it is the same carbs as the full fat. Fat free products are FULL of sugar to make up for the lack of tasty fat. I dont buy low fat anything. I also only buy real butter and only use olive oil.

Hints from me
1.Purge your house. Do not try to do this with a bag of Doritos falling on your head every time you open the pantry. You will so eat that and you know it. Either pitch it or give it away, but get rid of it.
I think this diet is extremely healthy and everyone in the house can and does eat this way WHEN THEY ARE AT HOME. We eat out enough and my kids go to grandparent's houses often enough that they can get cakes and fries elsewhere. I cook one dinner and you can take it or leave it. If you are capable of making the rest of the family loaded baked potatoes and sitting there while they eat them, you are a stronger woman than me. I just figure if they want that stuff they can order it at Outback.
2.Keep appropriate food on hand at all times. Stock your fridge and pantry. Cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, sugar free jello, lunch meat, salad greens, tuna, ranch dressing, etc. Whatever you need...but keep it at the ready.
3.Find some recipes you like. They are everywhere. You need the supplies to make an easy dinner if you need to. Precooked meatballs, crockpot roasts, dinner salads with lots of protein. Just have a few options planned out so you dont start eating sandwiches.
4.Dont be hungry-ever. This is not stinking Weight Watchers. If you are hungry, eat something. Just make sure it isnt carby.
5.Read labels. Like, all of them. There is a ridiculous difference in carbs in different brands of food. Spaghetti sauce is a prime example. Leave the kids at home and read labels at the grocery store.
6.Plan for late night snacks and sweet cravings. Pork rinds and dip, deviled eggs, chicken salad...all of the above. More on the sweet stuff later.
7.Get past whatever it is that makes you think you need a starchy food on your table. Dinner is still dinner even if you dont have rice and bread. Hamburgers taste good without buns. Meatballs on a plate covered in sauce and cheese are delicious--noodles are not essential. Chicken parmesan doesnt need a side of pasta. That is just how it is, so deal with it. Stuff your husband full of enough steak and he will forget there is not a baked potato next to it.
8. Do not drink carbs. That is just stupid. Diet drinks only. Water, diet soda, unsweet tea or tea with sweetener. Coke zero and the Pepsi equivalent taste exactly like regular with zero sugar/carbs. There are 39 carbs in one CAN of regular Coke. Honestly, that is just silly.
9.Stop worrying about the fat. If you are truly eating low carb, you can eat fat and no worries. Also, if you eat low fat you dont worry about carbs (in that case you will be too busy being hungry to worry about much but that). You have to pick one or the other though. Eating lots of fat AND lots of carbs is BAD.
10.Eat some fish for heaven's sake. It is good for you.

Here is some extra stuff...this is getting stupid long...sorry.
This is our refrigerator. Dont look to close. If you click on the picture it will take you to my photostream that has tags to tell you the contents. TMI I know, but pretty low carb!

This is my rack of sugar-free syrups. Good for flavoring coffee, smoothies and homemade low carb baked stuff. Most are Torani (they sell them at World Market) or Davinci (you can find them usually in the food section of Marshalls or TJ MAxx). An online source is here. There is every flavor you can imagine. They sell very basic ones in the coffee section at Walmart --make sure you get the sugar free!!

I mentioned meatballs a time or two up there, so these are the ones currently in my freezer. Costco brand and they are 1 carb per meatball. We have them for dinner all the time. Fill a pan with them and pour heavy cream overtop. Put a lid on and cook until they are hot all the way through and the sauce is bubbly. Best Swedish Meatballs ever. 2 ingredients. Cant beat that. Skip the noodles.

I dont buy a ton of specialty products, but I always keep these. I have spent soooo much money trying to find protein bars that dont make me want to vomit and I have come up with just these out of all the ones in the universe.
1. Atkins Advantage Caramel Double Chocolate Crunch Bar
2. Atkins Advantage Caramel Chocolate Peanut Nougat Bar
That's it. The rest are crap. My sister likes the Smores one but i think they are yucky. These two above are really tasty and curb all candy cravings for me.
The Atkins Indulge Bars are all good. They are essentially just sugar free candy, but very good. There is a Mounds, a Payday and a Snicker variety...they arent called that, but that is what they are. Walmart has all of these in the pharmacy by the vitamins and those horrible slim fast drinks.

Pork Rinds and party peanuts. Both good for snacking. A little sidebar here...buy the "party peanuts". They have peanuts, oil, salt. If you read the "dry roasted peanut" label ingredients you will be stunned by the crap in there. Again, read labels.

Finally (you thought it would never end, didnt you?), Pasta. Here is your only option that doesnt taste nasty. Try as I might, I think wheat pasta is pasty and ick. This is Dreamfields Pasta. It is 5 carbs per serving and comes in Lasagna (shown here), spaghetti, elbows and ziti. I have served it to many, many people that had no idea. Why does it have so few carbs? I dont know...something to do with high protien flour or fiber or something. Dont ask me, but it is good so eat it.
They sell this locally at Kroger with all the other pasta and you can also order it online.

I thought I would leave you with one recipe. That is a very hard choice because there are so many great ones. I guess I will give you this since it can be breakfast, lunch or dinner. It is great leftover and you could eat it for breakfast all week.
It is paraphrased from George Stella's Livin' Low Carb Cookbook

Kitchen Sink Quiche
8 large eggs
1 cup heavy cream
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups shredded cheese--you pick which kind or mix and match
1 cup cooked meat (steak, hamburger, sausage, bacon, ham, whatever. Or skip it if you want vegetarian.)
1 cup chopped low carb veggies (broccoli, mushrooms, spinach, summer squash, asparagus, etc.)

Preheat oven to 350. Spray pie pan with cooking spray.
Mix eggs, cream, salt and pepper in a mixing bowl until well combined.
Spread meat out evenly in bottom of pie pan. Place veggies over meat and then completely cover in cheese. Press it down in the pan tightly. Pour egg mixture over the top and let it sink in.
Bake for 40 minutes or until top is browned and it is firm. Let rest 15 minutes before serving.

Very open to interpretation and very good.
Enjoy!

Simplicity 3835-part deux

2009-04-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

I made another one of these. I thought I would post the picks here quickly and so you could see my awesome Heather Bailey Paisley fabric I bought. Why? Because Heather Bailey is awesome.
I stuck to the pattern except made the arms longer and the length of the shirt longer. I also did darts in the back like the dress pattern so it isnt so loosey goosey in the back. It's cute. I like it. So there.

And yes, that is Edward behind me because I suckered my Liver Lip daughter into taking this. I also buy her posters of cute guys for her room so that I can look at them without having to have posters in my own room...that would just be weird.
Also, yes, I am so super photogenic and never, ever have an "eat poo and die" look on my face. Get used to that if you read this blog very often. "Pissy"--that is how I roll.

Beer Cozy

2009-04-02T17:30:00.001-07:00

So, Chris does not often make special sewing requests but he wanted this and I accommodated. He made beer today and it has to sit for a couple weeks in the dark. He prefers a 6 gallon glass carboy...you'd think the goofballs that make them would make dark colored ones, but no. And, he fully expects this thing to sit on the kitchen counter for all two of those weeks.
I just so happened to have this silk curtain that I bought 3 yrs ago for $3 on clearance at Lowe's.
I planned the Baby Boy's entire room around the color and then didnt use this curtain because I only had 1 and he has a 6 ft wide window. It is lined with a cotton fabric--therefore very dark.
So, with this curtain and some braided stuff you make piping with...oh, and a cute ribbon left over from costume making, we now have this little beauty sitting on our counter.

Really, probably not much cuter, but it is appropriately dark under there and at least I made an effort. Beer that is trying to do its thing is sorta gross looking--lots of bubbly, weird, yeasty foam. Now I dont have to see it until it is ready for drinking.
So, TADA!! Beautious beer cozy. You know you want one!

Simplicity 3835

2009-03-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

I wear too many t-shirts and I need to remedy this. I need one of those hip and groovy mom looks that some people manage to have--no not "mom jeans" but cute stuff. Hip little shirts with nice jeans and some ballet flats--or something... I dont know what or I would be wearing it already. I have trouble finding shirts that I like because my torso is like 500 miles long. With as many costumes and the like as I make I have learned that I have to drop the waistline 4 inches to get the fit right. Very annoying. So, I went and got a couple cute, easy patterns to make a couple and supplement my Target tshirts.
This is the shirt I made today.
It was a trial version--done exactly like the pattern told me with no improvising or altering. The ubiquitous Simplicity 3835 from Built by Wendy.
You can google this pattern and find a billion versions because it is a much talked about and well loved pattern with modern crafty sewing girlies. I used some paisley-esque cotton that I had lying around. I still LOVE some paisley--any color, any style--because I am a good 80s girl. It is this guy's fault.
This pattern is very easy-peasy. It only has 3 pieces and an elastic measurement. I cut the arms out a little wonky because the dresses have the same body as the shirt. I had to fold the pattern all bunchy to not cut off the dress part and it pulled the edges up funny.

I will fix this next time.

Getting this neckline perfect was the hardest part but even it only took a few minutes of fiddling.

I will share my favorite tool in the whole entire world with you here. Essential for threading elastic and drawstrings through casings.
This is called a bodkin and it is the bomb.

I used it for the neckline of this shirt and I use it constantly for costume making. They are cheap and everyone in the world needs one.
Anyway, I like the shirt and I will make more. Good everyday shirt and takes hardly any time at all.

Fancy Bun

2009-03-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I was in Costume mode and looking up--wait for it--BELLY DANCING HAIR! I came upon this technique that i thought was about the most awesome thing I have ever seen in my life. I thought perhaps this was common knowledge among people who actually take time to fancy up their hair but, upon discussion with my work peeps, I have found that it is not. So, let me be the gal to enlighten you!

And then, if you are full on lazy and cheap like me, you can peruse this little beauty so you can get the donut thingy on the cheap out of your own closet! This video has captions for the words since i think this chick is speaking some Asian language we would not otherwise understand...just go with it. Oh, and use a brown sock for heaven's sake. And one sock is plenty unless you have some super-long hair.

Cool, huh?! Told ya!

Barf

2009-03-27T22:01:00.001-07:00

This is in my yard...boo. Mowing stinks.

-- Post From My iPhone

Snacks on a stick!!

2009-03-25T17:18:00.001-07:00

Snacks on a stick, originally uploaded by Rowetopia.

There has been an insane amount of interest in my birthday on a stick from February, so I decided to post some more pictures, some previously unseen in public, so that the snacks can be more closely studied for better copy-catting...I am a big fan of copy-catting.

Going from right to left we have cheese cubes on a stick and green grapes on a stick. My sticks were purchased at Party City and look like these only much more colorful. They come in a multi color pack of about 20 for pretty cheap. Less pokey than the bamboo skewer. Other options would be chopsticks or the plastic swords for shorter "sticks". Or chop the sharp end off the bamboo skewer. Also, the cheese cubes were originally intended as "dinner" and were going to share their skewer with some little smokies. I then decided that the hot skewers would be a pain in my be-hiney so i quit that idea.

Here we have Rice Crispy squares cut into cubes alternated with marshmallows on a stick and then pretzel sticks rolled in white chocolate bark and then in some sprinkles. These are sprinkles look all fancy, but what they really are is all the little remnant sprinkles from the bottom of about 5 different bottles in my cabinet. This process uses a heck of alot of sprinkles so be prepared for that. Put the sprinkles on a plate for rolling. The Rice Crispy squares are the store bought ones because they seemed like they were more likely to stay together....and because i was too lazy to make the real ones.

There is not really a good picture of the cup on the far left, but this one and the top picture sort of show it. It is a combo cup. Some of the skewers are pink marshmallows alternated with white marshmallows. The plan was to paint Kirby faces on the pink ones, but honestly....i gave up on that one pretty quickly. The other one is the piece de resistance--the Milky Way on a stick. That's it....really. Just one on each stick. Snack size.

Click on any of the pictures for the flickr feed of more pics!!

Corsets for toddlers!!

2009-03-25T06:31:00.001-07:00

Corsets for toddlers, originally uploaded by Rowetopia.

So, as I otherwise accomplished absolutely nothing yesterday and was feeling out of sorts over it, I thought I would tackle some costume prep for the Tennessee Renaissance Festival in May.
The one place i did manage to get to yesterday was Jo-Ann Fabrics--which is a store I LOATHE but is a necessary evil if you are going to sew anything since fabric stores are a dying breed in the world. Dont get me started on that....
Anyway, I found this linenesque fabric and i do love me some embroidery that i dont have to take a needle to, so i bought two yards in hopes of making something cute for the Baby Girl out of it.

My basic method was lots of rectangles. I measured under the armpit to the waist and waist to floor. Did a double layer of fabric for each--for easy lining. The most oddball part was getting some sort of strap that made sense. Ribbons would cut into her shoulder too much and she is a pain with untying ribbons at the shoulder, so I just did a simple wide strap that meets in the middle of the back. I wont get into how much it made my brain hurt to get these positioned correctly between the layers of fabric--inside out and upside down.

Once the straps were on I just used the proper length of the rest of the fabric and gathered it at the top, sewed it to the front of the bodice and flipped it. I pinned the lining to the back of the skirt and sewed it at the waist kinda in the ditch. I wish in hindsight that I had made the bodice a hair shorter, but oh well.

So, an hour later and at least the outer part of her costume is the finished.

She still lacks a shift underneath, but I got some really cute green crinkle gauze for that. Crinkle gauze is somehow a requirement to go to Renaissance Festival--they check you for it at the gate, I think.

I mean, really...lacing on a toddler is just the best. And I think the embroidery pattern turned out quite nice. The open front will be good at keeping her from tripping in the dirt while walking but I am going to get some thicker ribbon for the lacing---maybe in red or orange to stand out against the green shift and yellow bodice. I just used what I had on hand for the pictures.
Overall, I am happy with it and Caris seems to like it fine....she wore it for hours because it looks like a "crown lady" dress and she does love one of those.

Baby chicks on order!!

2009-03-24T06:08:00.000-07:00

I ordered the spring baby chicks today. We are splitting with Heather this year because we certainly dont need 15 more chicks. I am trying to diversify my egg colors this year so I have chosen the following...

Salmon Faverolles-

These are a French breed and have a nice feathery beard as well as laying tinted cream colored eggs. I dont have any light colored egg layers at the present so these will be pretty.

Next are the Araucanas or Easter Eggers

These, of course, are my personal favorites because they come in a variety of feather colors so you never know what you are going to get AND because they lay blue/green eggs.

And then lastly, the Cuckoo Marans. This was my big debate this year because I do NOT like roosters. These only come "straight-run" which means they just pick up random ones and put them in the box without differentiating between females (pullets) and males (annoying rooster cockerels). I like my chicken "girls" to just be able to lay their little eggs and go about their business without any big ugly roosters clawing them on their backs and harassing them.

Unfortunately, a rooster or two is inevitable when you order straight run and I have two already.

Such was my dilemma, but I caved. Why you ask?

Because these eggs are the coolest!!

And this chick here is the only one who's got them!

I am willing to put up with a couple stupid roosters to get those super nifty chocolaty looking eggs. I cant wait!! There had better get at least 3 of 5 being pullets or Cackle Hatchery and I are going to have "words".

Monkey dress

2009-03-18T08:12:00.001-07:00

This is the fabulous monkey/guitar/nannerpuss dress. Miss Babygirl and I went to Textile Fabrics which quite possibly the coolest place on the planet and found this just-perfect-for-her material. I had just bought Simplicity 3511 the day before with the intention of making some cutie summer dresses for her, so that is the pattern i used.

Textile Fabrics has just a terrific selection of cute contemporary fabrics, but it is extremely pricey. This particular print was nearly $20 per yard so i went with the bare minimum of 3/4 yard for the whole dress...i had intended to use a contrast for the yoke, but was lazy and didn't. Thank goodness, too because this pattern gave me hell. The dress is simple really but the directions were atrocious. I thought I was following them at first but realized I had pieced the thing together completely wrong half way through and had to rip it all out and start over.
This is the finished project.

It is really cute on her and nice and loose and cool for summer. I will use this pattern again since it has other sleeve options and also a shirt/pant option but i will cease to read the useless directions. Just winging it is what i should have done in the first place.
Oh, and as a testament to my scrimpiness with this expensive cotton, here is the tiny bit of leftover...not even enough intact to make a matching headband.

Garden Planning

2009-03-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

So, I have this little quirky thing that when i drive on a long trip ...I sit there and think up a million things that i want to do and, unfortunately for him, most of them involve putting Chris to work.

On my trip home from sunny Florida where it was all warm and green and all growy, i was planning out a veggie garden in my mind. It looks something like this one.

I have more land than i could possibly ever use up out here so I am thinking 30 X 30 or so...maybe a little less. I want tomatoes, green beans, zucchini, yellow squash, pumpkins, cucumbers and peppers as well as some herbs and fill in with a bunch of flowers.

This is the layout of the garden above.

I dont see me talking the husband into the arches (they are very nice though...i LIKE!!) ... even the fence will take some convincing. I need some kind of fence to keep my gigantic and veggie loving Molly the dog out. She loves to pull an almost ripe tomato off the vine and play with it. If she ate it it wouldn't be so bad, but she just mocks you with it as is sits pitifully on the porch. It is not nice.

The biggest problem i have with this at the moment is that i have one of these.

It is not working because my boredom with the summer heat last year and complete refusal to go outside even one more minute made me leave it out under a tree all winter. Now it has to have an overhaul. More things to talk the hubby into doing...i may have to read the manual myself and at least start this portion of the project on my own. (Incidentally, my tiller is included.)

Better yet, we have one of these that is getting rebuilt at the moment.

If we could just get this back, that would be SWEET!! My problems would be over...life would be good...all of that. And i could make Chris do it ALL!!

Hey

2009-03-13T20:09:00.001-07:00

Lets see if this wonky little booger works or not?